Nikolai has me so fucked up bro i cant think of him without thinking of angst like. He fr lied to himself so hard it indirectly caused an unnatural disaster. Free him he did all that but in his defense your honor hes my wife???? youre gonna send my wife to jail??????

He tries to achieve “freedom” by proving the fact that he has free will by doing the opposite of what he wants which is like not really what you’d think free will is bc like. Freedom to do what you want???

I almost never see anyone in the fandom write about him outside of his relationship with fyodor but to be fair his relationship (or lack of) with Fyodor is VERY important to his character. You’d assume theyre close with how he acts about him and how fyodor is the only person he has a nickname for (with it being either translated as dostoy (in one of the omakes i forgot which one) or dos-kun (which ive seen in the main manga specifically the version translated by 9 of scans) (NOT fedya despite what some people say im pretty sure thats a headcannon)) but that's not the case at all.





Despite how much Fyodor meant to him they were never even friends. They both knew that Nikolai was just a tool in the plan. Fyodor’s rejection of nikolai here affirms that nikolai really isn't unique to him in the way that he is to nikolai. Just like everyone else he’d be thrown out after he wasn't deemed useful anymore. If you think about it, after the decay of angels Nikolai really has nothing left. The death of Fyodor meant the death of his dream of freedom because he was forced to face the reality of himself and what he wanted. And the way he mourns him is also kinda funny to me bc as we know (but as he doesn’t) thats technically not even fyodors arm. Ig you could use it to symbolize how hes mourning the concept of fyodor he was attached to and not the actual guy. Like he was more attached to the fact that someone that understood him and not his personality or looks or anything. But i guess thats the same as saying “would he even like him if he was an entirely different person” or something ig. My brains been boiled for far too long im sorry. rejecting him and then blowing up in front of him fr was like the worst thing fyodor could do to him tho lmao ik its like literally the worst possible thing to happen to nikolai but its rlly funny to me how much went wrong for him in the span of like 5 minutes. All i said was that hes one of my favorite characters i never said i didnt want him to suffer. Actually no i take that back fyodor ending up ALIVE without him is the worst thing that could happen because the one person that understood him wants nothing to do with him. If he was dead then at least like he could like reason to himself that there isnt anything he can do about it anyway.



Also siglai (both platonic and romantic tbh im not picky) means so much to me i literally LIVE off of their interactions PLEASE let them interact again. That amusement park anthology chapter personally saved me. Nikolai being silly and calling sigma his assistant during the prison arc personally saved me. Nikolai being fr SINCERE with his goals and his like reasons for doing what hes doing with sigma KILLED ME. and him asking sigma to kill fyodor with him. Also i think its silly that he gets a kick out of sigma reacting “normal person-ish” Funny clown man and just some guy he drags around with him to witness his atrocities my beloved <3

Also whatever the hell this interaction was. Has my brain gripped sooo hard




I think the way his eye goes like entirely white is really interesting considering how harukawa is about eyes. At this point in the conversation he hadnt yet taken off the card over his other eye which im pretty sure is what he does to show sincerity??? So im not entirely sure what this means. Maybe he was super taken aback by sigma actually being interested in his feelings and attempting to understand him but he didn’t let himself show it??? Idk ok im just a guyyyyy but like it even covered up the scar(?)/cross + thing in his eye so.

Hey wait a minute i just realized. Why the fuck would nikolai want sigma to read what fyodors ability is for him. ??? why would that matter to him wait nvm i reread that part its so he could figure out the best way to kill him. Everyone go home siglai convention cancled theyre breaking up bc nikolai was gonna have him killed.

Id like to think that nikolai has an entirely normal backstory. Like nothing even happened to him hes just like this. Boring ass office job and then one day he went “what if i killed a man” and then he spiraled.

Also “oh crumbs” hes just a goober ur honor he did nothing wrong. Aside from the atrocities.



Also i think its rlly funny that he can just start sobbing and screaming on command.



Oh thats gore! Gore of my comfort character! He is having fun this is like enrichment to him






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